Monday 22 December 2014

More of us are living on our own...

In a recent report, the Office for National Statistics said the number of people living alone has risen by nearly 10 per cent in the last decade:


  • Half of people over 50 live alone.
  • The proportion of people living alone increases with age.
  • Between the ages of 35 and 49 men were more likely than women to live alone - possibly because any children tend to live with their mother after a separation.
  • After the age of 65 the majority of those on their own were women - we do tend to outlive men, even in this day and age!
  • The figures don’t necessarily mean all these people are single - just unwilling to move in with a new partner after perhaps already going through a divorce.


Which gets me thinking about the advantages of living alone….


  • Eat what you want when you want.  Ice-cream for breakfast?  There’s no-one to tell you it’s wrong.  Is it wrong?
  • No need to wash your hair/put your make-up on if you’re not going out.  Although, of course, that will guarantee it’s the day the gorgeous neighbour will pop round.
  • Watch what you want on the telly.  No more football!
  • Shopping for food is simpler - you just buy what you like.
  • No more smelly socks on the floor.  Unless their yours, and that’s different.
  • Paint everything pink.  Or blue.  Or green.  You get to choose!


And if you’re living alone this Christmas you can decorate the tree your way, you won’t have those family arguments, tussles over the remote control or turkey until Twelfth Night, and you can stay in your pyjamas all day.  Enjoy!

Monday 15 December 2014

Bang bang!

What goes on in Vegas used to stay in Vegas, but not now that the boom in divorce weekends is hotting up.  Whilst wild post-divorce weekends are now as commonplace as three-day stag and hen parties, one enterprising Vegas event planner has come up with a novel twist.

Why not machine-gun your wedding dress?

Apparently you pitch up at a shooting range, hang the dress, load your machine gun (under careful guidance of the range experts) and … just let loose!

If you’re not quite feeling that violent, other popular options are sky-diving, golf, gambling nights, restaurants, strip clubs and of course a divorce cake.

Chocolate cake or machine gun?  Now there’s a question…

Monday 8 December 2014

Feeling itchy? That’ll be after 10 years then...

Marilyn Monroe immortalised the ‘Seven Year Itch’ in her 1955 romantic comedy, yet a new study from Brigham Young University in the USA suggests that it is actually after 10 years that spouses should start to worry…

The researchers spoke to over 2000 women aged over 35 and, rather depressingly, found that most said that happiness and communication decline soon after marriage and never get any better.

The problems reach their peak after 10 years, possibly due to increasing household chores and childcare issues, but if you can hang on for another 5 years, things get slightly better.

It seems that after 15 years of marriage the feelings of restlessness begin to wane, continuing to decrease until the couple have been together for 35 years, when nearly a third of couples reported that things began to get better.

Maybe they just can’t be bothered to argue any more!

Wednesday 3 December 2014

What's a wife worth?

Last week saw the UK's highest divorce settlement to date when £337m was awarded to Jamie Cooper-Hohn.  Whilst her former husband, Sir Chris Hohn had claimed, modestly, that she was not entitled to more than 25% of his fortune because he was the "unbelievable money-maker", Mrs Justice Roberts clearly thought differently and awarded Jamie Cooper-Hohn around 40% of the assets.

We can gasp at the figures involved, but the principle that there is more to a marriage than just earning money is key - the acknowledgement of the fact that the husband cannot go and earn that money unless there is a support system (i.e. a wife) behind him who organises the house, fills the fridge, picks the kids up from school and generally does 'all the other stuff' that goes on behind any great businessman.

The saying in a wedding of 'for richer, for poorer' can't just be measured in terms of money alone - and that's a good thing.

Monday 24 November 2014

Beauty is in the eye of ....

A Saudi groom has divorced his bride on their wedding night after seeing her face for the first time when the photographer asked them to pose for pictures.

The couple, from the Western Saudi town of Medinah, had agreed to marry each other despite having not met face to face - a popular custom in certain Middle Eastern countries.

But when the bride removed her veil and smiled for the camera, her new husband leapt to his feet in disgust and declared,

'You are not the one I had imagined. I am sorry, but I divorce you'

According to the local paper, the bride immediately collapsed in a fit of tears as panicked wedding guests stepped in to try to resolve the dispute.

But their efforts were to no avail.

News of the jilting was met with anger on social media, but also some words of encouragement for the jilted bride.

'He should appreciate that beauty is in the character, not the face.’

‘Let’s hope she gets a better husband who will appreciate her for who and what she is.'

Monday 17 November 2014

What's Up?

A man in Saudi Arabia has been granted a divorce because his wife of two years ignored his WhatsApp messages.

Gulf News reports that the husband, in his 30s, became exasperated because his wife spent so much time on her phone.  Although she was constantly using her cell phone, the wife would not respond to messages from her husband.

He claimed she neglected looking after the home and taking care of their child.

In response, the wife claimed she needed her cell phone to keep in touch with her friends and family.

So, in desperation, the husband used WhatsApp to try and talk to his wife but she ignored his messages claiming that she was too busy talking to her friends.

That was the final straw for the husband who sought and got a divorce.

Monday 10 November 2014

Go out with a bang?

Given the time of year, it's a good time to mention a fireworks manufacturer in the USA (where else!) who is selling a pack of fireworks called the 'Grounds For Divorce' package.  It's so expensive ($1750, on offer for $1499.99) that they reckon it's 'grounds for divorce'.

Talk about going out with a bang!

One happy customer commented on the site that 'they went up in less than 10 minutes'.

Ooh, that's a bit pricey!  Can I suggest a pack of sparklers might be better value and, um, last a little bit longer??


Monday 3 November 2014

Tweeting tigers get the lolly...

You may remember my blog back in July about tigers who tweeted...  Now at last a judge has ruled that the wife (who had been accused of 'humanising' the tigers with the tweeting thing) isn't entitled to any of the money because she fabricated stories against her ex-husband about him spending the charity's money on extravagant dinners and fine wines.

After a 25 day hearing in the Family Division of the High Court, the judge sided with the husband, describing the wife as an 'unreliable liar' who had 'become blinded by her desire for revenge'.

The ruling means that all of the money - some £25 million - will now be spent trying to save China's endangered tigers.

Now that's what I call a result!

Monday 20 October 2014

Doing it like the fishes...

A team of scientists led by an Australian have discovered that the first creatures to have sex were odd little fish called Microbrachius Dicki (no, I’m not making it up) which seems to be the first animal to actually reproduce by, um, coupling…

Usually fish simply put sperm and eggs into the water and let them find their own way to each other, but our Microbrachius Dicki male has a sideways version of genitalia which he could ‘lock into’ the female in a slightly weird sideways mating game.  The female, in turn, was roughly made (like a cheese grater) to ensure that things stayed locked together, like Velcro.  Sadly (but perhaps understandably) this didn’t’ seem to catch on, and fish went back to the spawning method for a few million years until sharks and rays had another go at pairing up.

Everybody seems to have got the hang of it now though, eh?

Monday 13 October 2014

The sweet smell of flowers

OK, so most weddings feature a bouquet or buttonholes in some shape or form.  Now an enterprising florist from Colorado in the USA (where cannabis use has just been legalised) has hit on the idea of incorporating cannabis into her floral wedding arrangements.

Bec Koop used to work in a medicinal cannabis dispensary, so she knows what she's doing.  Her arrangements can feature different types of cannabis buds according to whether you want to wake your guests up or relax them at the end of the party.

Despite cannabis having been legalised in Colorado, not all venues allow it to be smoked, so Bec even hires out a limousine as a private smoking lounge.

I'm not condoning drug use so I think I'll stick to the 'roses and greenery' kind of flower arrangement!



Monday 6 October 2014

What is it about Maidenhead??

You’ll remember back in April, that I reported on Maidenhead being the nookie capital of the UK…

Well, Maidenhead has gone and done it again…  This time it’s the ITALIAN divorce capital of the UK.

It seems that the Italian divorce system is very slow…. so unhappy Italian couples have been paying €4,000 to a Dr Frederica Russo in the UK to get them a divorce after pretending that one of them lives in the UK.  It might have gone on for many more years unnoticed but for an eagle-eyed court attendant who spotted the same address on two separate divorces.  After bringing the matter to the attention of a Judge, more sleuthing was done and it became evident that 178 other couples all lived at the same address.  Which was all the more remarkable when the address turned out to be no more than a mailbox.

DS Jonathan Groenen, the investigating officer, dryly remarked:  “It is not possible for 179 applicants or respondents to reside at this address.  Indeed, given the dimensions of the mailbox it is clear that not even a single individual, however small, could possibly reside in it.”

All of the divorces have now been declared void, and social media is awash with stories of this inevitably reinforcing national stereotypes - Hollywood stars and A List lawyers go to romantic Venice for their wedding, while Italians choose Maidenhead as a passion killer.

Monday 29 September 2014

Amal Alamuddin marries an actor

There's a magazine called The Business Woman - and we like it.

This week it has reported on the wedding of Amal Alamuddin, top Human Rights Lawyer, going against the trend for a professional woman in her marriage to 'an actor'.

She's multi-talented, award winning and supremely popular - she's described by Julia Roberts (yes the actress) as "beautiful and smart" and by the solicitor who hired her to represent Julian Assange as "a fabulously bright woman, she's independent, has a Rolls-Royce mind and inter social skills to die for".

And then the magazine takes a look at the 'actor' she's marrying...

They say "He's probably a nice man, but seems to be a bit clingy, as since she met him it's hard to find a photo or footage of Amal without him hanging around in the background.  We only hope he doesn't hold her back from conquering the world."

We can only agree with this sentiment and wish the newly-weds all the luck in the world.

And they make such a lovely couple:


Monday 22 September 2014

Is it all Strictly above board?

As Strictly Come Dancing is all set to hit our TV screens this coming Friday, it is announced that Ben Cohen, now dancing with Russian Kristina Rihanoff, has split from his wife.

The newspapers have, of course, gone into a frenzy talking about the 'curse of Strictly' and citing former contestants Susanna Reid, Rachel Riley and Joe Calzaghe who all split with their former loves to take up with their dancing partners.

There have been some beautiful relationships built too - Kara Tointon with Artem Chigvintsev and Flavia Cacace with Jimi Mistry, who married this year.

We'll all be glued to the new series of Strictly this weekend, and by the end of Saturday night I bet we'll have forgotten about the bust-ups and just be revelling in the sequins and sparkle!

Monday 15 September 2014

No money = no happiness?

We all know that two of the greatest pressures on a relationship are money and kids.  A recent survey, by Relate, shows that couples who have suffered the most in this latest recession are EIGHT times more likely to break up.  And for those who have been hardest hit but who managed to stay together, their relationship was likely to have deteriorated.

However, the Office for National Statistics reckoned almost the opposite was true - that actually the divorce rate was falling whilst unemployment was rising.  They further say that couples have been brought closer together by having to work together harder to survive the economic downturn.

In Relate's study, six categories of economic survival were used:

1.  Forging ahead
2.  Doing well
3.  Getting by
4.  Overworked and underpaid
5.  Bearing the brunt
6.  Distressed and disengaged

Their conclusion was that people in category 6 were eight times more likely to break up than those in category 1.

Who knows, these 6 categories may in future be used to determine how at risk your relationship might be - any one of us, at any time, fits into one of those categories, and it might be a useful way of looking at our lives in general to keep a close eye on relationships when the going gets tough.

Monday 18 August 2014

Till death us do part?

Apparently not, as more and more people are citing retirement and inheritance issues as a good reason to get divorced.

We’ve all heard of the couples who were happily married for many years until they retired and then spent every day together - sometimes too much togetherness is just, well, too much togetherness.  What might have appeared endearing little foibles suddenly begin to grate and resentments fester…

Or how about inheritance issues?  Suppose you have a partner with a previous marriage and children from that relationship - just how are you going to split your millions when you die?  What if you leave everything to your partner and hope they will then see your own children right when they die?  What’s to stop them changing their will after you’ve gone?  It all comes down to trust, and often just thinking about who to leave things to brings it all to a head.

However, this also makes me think about wills in general - I am constantly amazed by the number of people who don’t have them.  At the risk of sounding bossy, I would urge all of you to make a will (it’s messy for those you leave behind if you don’t) and it’s the only way to guarantee that those you love and care for are looked after you’ve gone.  If you’re in your twenties or thirties you might think you’re too young - but you’re not!  Anyone who owns anything (whether it’s a car or a house) should make a will.

Monday 4 August 2014

Facebook: Is it good for you?

OK, so we all use Facebook - some more than others.  But it is increasingly being considered to be a factor in more and more divorces and break-ups.

Why?

Well, think about it - before social media was around, you might have occasionally thought about your first love, now you’re just a click away from finding him/her on social media.  Then you’re just a click away from ‘friending’, and then it’s a coffee…

And all that time you’re spending staring at the screen you’re not interacting with your partner who may well be sitting beside you doing exactly the same thing.  It’s not exactly sociable…

Even if it doesn’t lead to a break-up, does Facebook make you happy?
 
Constantly viewing the lovely holidays, meals out and happy smiling children of others may lead to feelings of inadequacy, resentment and low self-esteem.

Don’t forget, however, that these photos are (literally) just a snap-shot in time and that the person posting is almost always putting ‘the best spin’ on things.  And if they’re not?  Then they’re depressed, fed up and cranky and that’s depressing too!

Perhaps the best idea is to use Facebook less, live life more!

Monday 28 July 2014

Tigers who tweet?

Following on from the bizarre facts that sometimes come out in divorce cases, we now hear of a tiger charity couple locked in a £50million divorce battle who are said to have fallen out after the wife gave the tigers Twitter accounts.

The husband said that this approach gave ammunition to critics of their charity, as scientists were bothered by the way the wife treated the tigers as children.

At the end of the day, the arguments are all about money - there’s £50million at stake, and the wife wants more than the husband is prepared to give!

And, in case you’re wondering, yes the tigers did tweet!

Monday 21 July 2014

"Divorce linked to high blood pressure" - no kidding?

Sleeping badly after a divorce won't just leave you with dark circles under your eyes - research shows it could also cause dangerous increases in blood pressure, leading to serious illness.

A University of Arizona study questioned 138 people, all newly separated or divorced, about how well they were sleeping, and also took their blood pressure regularly over a seven month period.

Those people who regularly had trouble sleeping saw their blood pressure increase a few months later.

Kendra Krietsch, the study's project manager, said "If somebody is going through a divorce and unable to sleep, they really need to get some help or it could lead to problems. This study shows how important it is for all of us to value sleep and take care of ourselves.'

Another of the report's authors, David Sbarra, added: "What we found was if you're having sleep problems there is a cumulative bad effect after around ten weeks or so."

For people who have high blood pressure to begin with, the increase is not to be taken lightly, he added - high blood pressure trebles the risk of heart attacks and strokes, can damage the kidneys and eyes and is becoming increasingly linked to dementia.

I'm not entirely convinced we needed a study to tell us this, but it does serve to remind us all to look after ourselves in a divorce - chat to friends, try and do a little exercise, eat properly and don't drink too much!

Monday 14 July 2014

Who gets the dog?

Back in January I blogged about the fact that 20% of separating couples argue about who gets the dog... Now it seems that the goalposts for decision making may be changing.

A new paper by a leading legal academic (Deborah Rook of Northumbria University) says that in the US and Israel different tests are being used to decide 'who gets the dog' in matrimonial disputes which may, in turn, lead to a shift in what factors are used in Court to decide where Fido should live.

In England and Wales we look very much to the 'property' aspect which is exactly this: who owns the dog? We'd look at who paid for it, who paid the insurance, who paid the vets bills, food, etc. In the US and Israel they're now beginning to look at 'what's in the best interests of the dog?' so factors such as the emotional bond Fido has with his humans and where he is likely to come to least physical harm.

One example cited in the paper is of a woman who wanted to keep the two family dogs in a divorce. The husband asked for the Mercedes Benz SLK instead (worth about £15,000 at the time) and that was agreed - he got the flashy car and she got the dogs.

Apparently he never even asked about them again, so the pooches were probably best off with the wife!

Tuesday 8 July 2014

Britain has the highest rate of.....

Divorces in the EU!

You know that people have been saying 'one in three marriages ends in divorce' for absolutely ages?  Well, it's out of date.  According to a recent survey (from the EU's Eurostat statistical office in Luxembourg), the UK rate of divorce is now 2.8 per 1000.

It's not really something to be particularly proud of, but this is the highest rate in the EU.  Luxembourg (where the whole report came from, remember) has a rate of just 0.6 per 1000.

So, does this prove that if you love statistics you won't get divorced??

Monday 30 June 2014

Status: Single?

So, you're splitting up, you're spitting feathers and you want to get your own back?

It's very tempting to let rip on Facebook or Twitter about your soon-to-be-ex, but it's really best to maintain the higher moral ground and at least some of your dignity...

Here are some of the do's and don'ts of divorcing on social media:
  • Don't use social media to get personal.  Yes, we know you want to.
  • If you lie, you could have a libel action against you.
  • Don't make negative comments about your ex.  Again, we know you want to...
  • Don't post pictures of yourself at social gatherings - even if you do look stunning.
  • Avoid 'checking in' to any locations - your ex may well be watching.
  • Remember you and your ex may have mutual friends so watch what you comment on.
  • Don't change your relationship status to 'single' until your divorce is finalised.
  • It's best not to interact online - use private emails or texts instead.
  • If you're in any doubt about using your social media accounts, close them down!
And remember, if you want to talk to someone and let off steam, you could just pick up the phone or meet them for a coffee!

Monday 16 June 2014

Love me, love my film?

A woman in Japan has reportedly asked to divorce her husband of six years because he doesn't share her love of the movie Frozen.

Photo:  Disney

The un-named man, aged 31, recently posted on the Japanese marriage advice forum 'Kikonsha no Hakaba" ("The Gravesite of Married People") that his wife has recently become obsessed with the film and made him watch it.

His view was that it was an OK movie but said that he didn't really care for it personally.

His wife, however, felt that if he couldn't understand how great a movie it was there must be something wrong with him as a human being...

The man claims there were no pre-existing issues in the marriage, with the couple apparently living comfortably, with no children and no financial worries.

He said his wife has since moved in with her parents and refuses to speak to him.

Now I can understand an obsession with football getting between a couple - but the film Frozen??

Monday 9 June 2014

Divorce parties becoming all the rage

Many people, on gaining their decree absolute, may go out with friends, have a few mates round, or even splash out on a weekend away.  But how about a full 'reverse wedding' party?

Apparently, in a craze sweeping the divorced citizens of the USA, the bride comes in backwards, while her father will be there to 'take her back'.  She then gets her bouquet tossed back from one of her former bridesmaids, and puts photos of the original wedding gifts into nice frames to give them back to their givers.  Of course, they don't get the gift back, but they win a lovely frame!

Divorce cakes are becoming big business too - either black, or showing the wife/husband in their split.  I've even seen a picture of an upside-down wedding cake, with the small tier at the bottom - although I wouldn't like to have to transport it very far!

One of my colleagues made this cake for a divorced friend (to his specification).

In case you don't recognise it, it celebrates The Great Escape....


And yes, those are slices of 'bitter' lemon round the edge...

Monday 2 June 2014

How many??!

Linda Wolfe (nee Taylor, if she can remember that far back) is the world's most married woman, with a staggering 23 marriages now behind her.  She first married in 1957 at the age of 16, and that one lasted 7 years which remains as her longest marriage.  Her shortest marriage was just 36 hours (really, is that possible?) when she said "the love just wasn't there".

She married Mr Wolfe in 1999 as a publicity stunt as he was the world's most married man, with 29 marriages.  He died a year later, at which time she said she was on the lookout for number 24.

In common with some celebrities, she married one of her husbands three times.  You'll probably know that Elizabeth Taylor married Richard Burton twice in her eight marriages, but did you also know that Lana Turner married one of her seven husbands twice, also meaning eight marriages in total?  Other much married celebrities include Zsa Zsa Gabor, who has married nine times and, more recently, Geena Davis who has been married four times.

Many cases of hope over experience?!

Tuesday 27 May 2014

Margarine linked to divorce!

A Harvard teacher has come up with an extraordinary hypothesis:  That the amount of margarine consumed in a household is directly correlated to the rate of divorce.

Wow!  Maybe it's something to do with not enjoying nice things (i.e. butter), or not having enough money to buy good food (i.e. butter)?

Well, er, no.  A little further investigation into the story helps us find that it's on a website called 'Spurious Correlations' on which this Harvard teacher finds weird and wonderful correlations between  completely unrelated sets of statistics, and just publishes them to get us all talking.

For instance, cheese eating rises directly in relation to the number of people who died by becoming tangled in their bedsheets....

Or how about this one - in summer, ice cream sales and the number of murders both increase...

So what, if anything, does this sensational headline tell us?  Perhaps to be wary of statistics!

Remember Mark Twain's line:  "There are lies, damned lies, and statistics..."

Monday 19 May 2014

To have and to hold and to appear on TV...

If you were minded to, there are lots of ways you could find a 'lifetime partner'...  You could:

  • Go on a blind date
  • Meet them at work
  • Be partnered off by your friends
  • Bump into them walking the dog
  • Go online dating
  • Sign up for a TV show

So you don't believe the last one?  Well, you should!  Channel 4 have commissioned a TV programme called Married At First Sight which is based on a Danish format.  And it's for real!  A pool of 200 people will be assessed and matched by a panel of experts, leading to 6 strangers being married to each other live on television, having never clapped eyes on each other before.

Be warned if you fancy meeting your forever partner this way though - in the Danish show, none of the couples managed even a year.  So, whilst 'love' may not hold us together, it seems getting married on TV won't do it either...

Monday 12 May 2014

Fancy a quickie?

This week an online divorce website boasting that it is the 'leading provider' of online divorces has been told to stop making the claim as it can't substantiate it.

The company made the claim on the Quickie Divorce YouTube channel (yes, really, there is one) in a video with a woman speaking to the camera claiming that the site was 'firmly established' as the UK's leading provider of online divorces.

They claimed that of 32,025 divorces filed between April and June of last year, they had 'assisted people' on 6,486 cases, giving them 22.5% of the market share.

The Advertising Standards Authority pointed out that 'assisting people' is not quite the same as 'filing' and that there were no statistics to show how many people were 'assisted' by other law firms.  Bit like comparing apples and oranges really!

Honestly, rather than 'have a quickie' it's probably easier to speak to a real live human being...

Tuesday 29 April 2014

Even celebrities shout at each other...

Paul Simon and his wife, Edie Brickell, have appeared in Court in Connecticut charged with disorderly conduct after what they are calling a 'family dispute'.

It seems that they both gave as good as they got, with the local police chief saying 'there was aggressiveness on both sides".

However, by the time it all got to Court, the couple were back holding hands, saying they didn't feel threatened by each other and seeing no need for the Court to make a protective order.

Each party suffered minor injuries and the incident was classed as one of domestic violence by the police.

Whilst the papers today have been making somewhat light of the situation, domestic violence is a serious issue - if you feel you are in any way in danger you really can get help.   If you don't know where to turn to, email me in the first instance.

Tuesday 15 April 2014

More sex please, we're from Maidenhead

Apparently Maidenhead (a town near Slough in Berkshire) is the nookie capital of Great Britain.  A report in The Telegraph recently puts this down to a lot of wealthy 'out at work' banking types and a lot of 'stay at home' wives with nothing better to do than visit the gym and have lunch with the girls.

Maidenhead has the highest number of millionaires outside of London, and property prices average an eye-watering £450,000.  This means that couples who do want to divorce probably won't be able to afford to live in the area if they sell the house, and neither can afford to buy the other out...

One of my colleagues grew up in Maidenhead and is now wondering what her life would be like if she hadn't moved to South Wales.

Wealthier but less happy, perhaps??


Tuesday 1 April 2014

We are uncoupled...

Yes, you've guessed right - it's our own dear Gwynnie and Chris Martin who have announced that they are going through a 'conscious uncoupling'.  This is obviously how the stars do it - the rest of us just 'split up' and 'get divorced'...

Whether they are actually going to 'get divorced' is of course a moot point - maybe they're just splitting up?  Or procrastinating?    Or are they aiming to do it 'differently' to the rest of us and, if so, how??

Whatever 'conscious uncoupling' actually means, we hope they manage to have a civilised, fair and pain-free divorce without causing distress to their two children.  It can be done.

I doubt if either of them needs legal advice but, hey, why not?  Give me a ring?  One of you?


Monday 17 March 2014

What's in a name?

So, you decide to divorce...  What name are you going to be known by?

For women divorcing, you can either go back to your maiden name or keep your married name which you might want to do because (a) it's the same as your children (b) you use it for business (c) you prefer it to your maiden name and (d) it's prestigious and gets you a good table in restaurants...

But what do you do if you think your name is REALLY important?  You demand it as part of the divorce settlement!

When David Hasselhoff divorced his wife, Pamela Bach, he negotiated the exclusive use of the moniker 'The Hoff' and also the slogan 'Don't Hassle The Hoff'.

Let's just hope he has a bumper sticker of that on his car...

Monday 10 March 2014

It wasn't me, guv....

An investment banker who claims an imposter stood in for him at his own wedding has fail din his attempt to avoid a big money divorce suit.

The London investment banker told a judge his wife marriage another man 'of the same name' while he himself was relaxing at home some 6 hours away.

However, the Judge granted the wife a decree nisi last year after describing her husband as an 'unreliable' witness and ruling that 'there was a valid marriage between the couple'.

Our non-husband had pointed to a mysterious thumb-print on his marriage certificate - and an absence of wedding photos - to prove he was still a bachelor.

But his complaints were thrown out by the judge, who said he had 'no prospect' of blocking his wife's divorce petition.

The banker met his wife on an Indian matrimonial website in 2003, they became engaged just three days later and a wedding was fixed for the following month.  The fiancee's family arranged a short marriage ceremony in advance of the full festivities, in order to speed along her French visa application prior to the couple's move to Europe.  Our banker said he wasn't present at the first ceremony, even though the groom's name on the wedding certificate matched his own.  He also said he didn't notice the discrepancies until a year after the relationship had fallen down.

After the hearing, the wife was understandably said to be 'very happy' at the outcome.

And the moral of this story?  Take LOTS of photos, just in case...

Monday 3 March 2014

Can we fix it? Probably not...

Despite having THREE pre-nups in place, Bob The Builder’s daughter Victoria Luckwell has been ordered by a judge to give her ex-husband a home and pay off his large debts.
It is stated that Limata, the ex-husband, had gone back on three pre-marital agreements that he would not make claims against family assets. But the judge ruled that proper provision must be made for him – despite the agreements – to avoid the divorce having a damaging impact on the couple's three children.
He said the children could find themselves living with their 37-year-old mother 'in relative luxury' and then staying with their father, who was in debt and lacked assets, 'in relative penury'.
The judge said: "If all the facts were the same but the genders reversed, it is inconceivable that the agreements would outweigh making a substantial award to the wife, even if the children were primarily living with the husband and only intermittently staying with her."
While Victoria was understandably upset, the solicitor for Limata said that he had made 'financial contributions himself during the marriage' and that 'he sought and was given sufficient funds to meet his real financial needs, including a home in which to live.'  She added:  'Marriage brings with it important legal and moral obligations to care for the other spouse in a time of need, including if a marriage breaks down.'

You can see the original version of this article in the Guardian here

Monday 24 February 2014

Be very careful with text messages!

Apparently there is a growing trend of sending 'sext' messages (that's a text message picture of your, um, private parts) and it can get you in a great deal of hot water.  Never mind that your loved one might be a tad surprised, a recent case in the High Court heard how a man was denied access to his young son when his ex-partner accidentally received a sext message of his crown jewels.  Oops.

Even though the contact had been largely amicable, the sext message led to a breakdown in the relationship and access broke down.

Luckily for our hapless dexter, the Judge saw fit to rule in his favour on this occasion, describing it as 'an incredibly unfortunate event' but saying that it shouldn't deny his chance to have a relationship with his son.

Just to complicate matters, it seems that the man himself didn't send the sext to his ex-partner - he sent it to his new lover and 'somehow' it got sent on to his ex-partner.

Perhaps best not to sext at all, eh?

Monday 17 February 2014

Breaking up can help.... your DIY skills!

A colleague of mine tells me the story of when she and her husband were splitting up they were in the middle of yet another screaming match on the upstairs landing.  Wanting to throw something at the errant husband, yet not having anything to hand, the wife simply kicked out at the wall.  If it had been stone she might have ended up with a broken foot, but in these days of timber-framed houses and plasterboard, her nicely booted toe just made a large hole in the wall.

Oops.

However, when she'd calmed down a bit she set about fixing it - fishing out the plasterboard, fixing a batten behind the hole, gluing the plasterboard to the batten, filling, sanding and repainting.  It took a couple of days, and when they divorced and sold the house nobody even noticed.

So she got to vent her anger, learn a new skill AND get divorced - result or what?!

Monday 10 February 2014

Call me unreasonable?

A couple from London who married in the late 1970s and divorced (but continued living together) in the 1990s have just been through the court process.

Things came to a head when the man, now in his 70s, met another woman five years ago and installed both her and her 12 year old daughter into the marital home. When the man then asked his former wife, who is in her 50s, if she would remain in the home “as some sort of housekeeper”, she (not unreasonably) found the suggestion “very demeaning and upsetting”.

He seemed surprised and could not understand why she became “so aggressive”. 

The ex-husband told her that he would “commit suicide or go on hunger strike” if she went to court regarding financial matters.

Luckily the former wife was made of sterner stuff and proceeded with litigation.


The man argued in court that he and his former wife had an agreement which meant that she would be entitled to no more than £3.4 million, but the former wife said that this had been signed by her under duress.  The man denied this but the judge ruled in her favour and has dais that she is entitled to nearly half of her former husband’s £13.6 million fortune.

Monday 20 January 2014

The food of love?

How's this for mad - a newlywed Kuwaiti woman has filed for divorce just a week into her marriage after discovering that her husband prefers to use bread, rather than a fork, to eat peas.  Apparently, the woman accused her husband of poor table manners and said his method of eating peas was a 'shocking sight'.  The article, in Al Arabiya News, doesn't say whether the divorce proceeded...

However, this isn't the only case - in 2012 a UK man filed for divorce on the basis that his wife 'maliciously and repeatedly' served him his least favourite meal.

So what was it?

Tuna casserole!

Monday 13 January 2014

Who gets the dog?

Apparently 20% of separating couples argue as much over who gets the dog as they do over who should care for the children!

According to an article in the Independent, Liam Gallagher and estranged wife Nicole Appleton even went to Court over who got the dogs.

Some couples are even including dogs in their pre-nups, and many ex-partners demand maintenance for their pooches.



However, poor little doggy can come out of it badly - with many being discarded when neither partner wants to take it on.


And if you think it’s strange for couples to argue about the dog - I’ve even known of separation agreements saying who gets the Hoover…

If you want to read the whole article, click here

Monday 6 January 2014

Love's a funny thing...

Following on from my post last week about a husband and wife falling out over the Christmas decorations, an article in The Guardian recently showed that Greater Manchester Police had more than their fair share of family arguments this festive season.
In one incident a mother and daughter were arguing in the street because the mum hadn't got the Christmas dinner ready when the daughter wanted it, and the neighbours called the police. Another man was charged with breach of the peace after an argument with his wife, which began when she locked him out after accusing him of not helping enough with the Christmas meal.
On Christmas Eve, a 60-year-old man threw a boiling kettle over his wife after a row that began after he ordered her to get him some clothes because he was cold. This one turned nasty - she ended up with a fractured neck after falling down the stairs.
In another incident, police were called out after a row that began because a woman thought her boyfriend was more attracted to Katy Perry than her.
In Eccles a 19-year-old lad denied spitting on his mother and smashing her windows after she refused to give him money to buy new trainers.
Then there was the 48-year-old mother who was locked up after being accused of assaulting her 23-year-old daughter after the daughter's new dog scratched the kitchen cupboards while the family were out at a do.
As one of the Detective Constables said: "Love's a funny thing, isn't it?"

If you would like to read the full article, please click here

Thursday 2 January 2014

Happy New Year?

Christmas and New Year are often the times of most stress for couples and families - we're all at home, eating and drinking and really not doing a lot else!  Couples are more likely to split up in January than in any other month of the year.  I know of one husband and wife who actually broke up on 2nd January one year because they agreed they'd take the tree down together, the wife got sick of waiting for her husband to get dressed, started dismantling the tree and he got into a rage because he said she had made him feel guilty by starting without him...  Of course it wasn't just about the tinsel and baubles - that was probably just the last straw, but for the wife there was definitely the thought of a whole new year stretching ahead with more of the same.

I hope you've all had a more pleasurable Christmas, but if the story above rings some bells with you, remember there are places to get help, people to talk to, and resolutions to be found.

I hope you all have a very happy and relaxed New Year!