As reported in The Guardian this week -
Blind dates and set-ups may be things of the past, but are the apps that have replaced them any
better?
Modern love is digitised. Letters and unrequited love have been replaced with modern iterations
(saucy pictures and ghosting). You do not go on blind dates, you go on dates with people whose
best photos you deem, at best, attractive and, at worst, passable. No one asks each other out in
person any more, probably.
There are merits and disadvantages to Tinder, Happn, Grindr, Bumble and the rest. They dismantle
the high stakes normally associated with the terror of asking someone out, but in doing so they
also cheapen the act. Post-Tinder, love feels disposable; people become something to consume.
This is what love online looks like.
‘I asked the first guy out after exchanging three sentences’
Libby, 27, customer services assistant
In January this year I downloaded Tinder, Bumble and Happn. It seemed like the only option to
meet someone these days if you don’t work with, or hang out with, men.
I asked the first guy out after exchanging approximately three sentences on Tinder. He announced
he was emigrating the moment we met. I realised we were mismatched after approximately three
minutes, anyway. He now lives in New York; I stayed in the country.
One evening I got chatting to someone: skip forward three hours and I had agreed to meet him in
central London. I stumbled up the stairs at Oxford Circus, spotted his bad shoes and realised
that I just wasn’t Samantha from Sex and the City. I promptly ran across the road and down
another entrance, and texted him to say: “I’m so sorry something has come up, I can’t make it
tonight.” He sent me a lovely response that it was totally OK and we should go for a drink
another night.
We did. He had just been diagnosed with ADHD and they were experimenting with his medication,
which tended to wear off at the end of the day, so he didn’t like to sit still for too long.
But I really liked how weird he was and was totally thrilled when he texted me the next morning:
“That was fun, we should do it again some time.” We did; three days later he hadn’t texted me. A
week later, I was drunk and I sent him a meme of Celine Dion letting go of Leonardo DiCaprio in
Titanic whispering, “Jack, I’ll never let go, Jack” because his name was Jack and I thought I
was hilarious.
The worst part of online dating is the first awkward face-to-face hello. Your preconception of
the person you have been speaking to is always very oddly different to whoever it is you meet.
And I also seem to make my mind up very quickly on how the night will go.
I once heard a story about a man who turns up to dates early and buys himself a drink, so that
when the girl arrives, he can send her up to the bar to get a drink and do a runner if he thinks
they aren’t up to his exacting standards. That’s almost a reason to give up.
One evening, I started speaking to a man – really interesting, engaging, all very effortless –
and after three hours of constant messaging, we arranged a drink for the next day. He asked for
my number – taking messaging off Tinder is a big deal – and then texted at 5pm to ask me where
we should go. I texted back suggesting a bar, washed my hair and never heard back from him.
For the full story click here.
Call me old fashioned but it would seem even Bridget Jones chose "the boy next door" eventually....or did she?
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