Tuesday 18 July 2017

When my boyfriend proposed, I said 'oh no!'

A recent article by Rosie Nixon in The Telegraph caught my eye, as I'm sure, many of us can relate to. It reads
It was a moment I had never dared to imagine - my boyfriend getting down on one knee. It happened in a stunningly picturesque spot in China , seven years ago, and I can still see it vividly. I had no idea it was  coming - I didn't even twig when he upgraded us to a beautiful boutique hotel the night before. Without realising I was talking out loud, I muttered the words, "Oh no." Why wasn't I gripped by the kind of elation this moment is meant to inspire, like it does in the films?
Undeterred, he pressed on, uttering those four words - words so little yet enormous "Will you marry me?" They hung in the air. "Can I think about it?" I said finally; it was probably only seconds later, but it felt as though half of my life had whizzed before my eyes. My words sounded pathetic, but I didn't know what else to say.
Callum and I first met outside a London pub on Valentine's Day the year before. He made me laugh and had a mischievous twinkle in his eye. I left the pub, but halfway down the street, goaded by my best friend, I dashed back, my phone number scribbled on a scrap of paper, which I thrust into his hand.
At 33, I had no dreams of getting married, I was too busy having fun and hanging out with my circle of single girlfriends. Dates were plentiful and life was one big party followed by a hangover. Callum had other ideas. On our first date we met at the Royal Festival Hall and it felt as though I had known him forever. We moved in together after six months and then, almost a year after we met, he proposed.
Looking back, Callum's reaction to my rebuff won him his bride. "Of course you can think about it," he said, confident as anything. "I just want you to know I'm in it for the long haul." And then the clincher:"But we never have to get married, if you don't want to." Immediately the pressure was off. And that, as any contrary woman knows, tends to make you want something. Badly.
We spent the next few days in Hong Kong. Never again did we mention the Asian elephant in the room.
But I couldn't help watching him with a renewed love: my boyfriend, this man who wants to marry me. But doesn't mind if we don't.
Gradually, the idea began to sink in. I asked myself a multitude of questions: what are you scared of? I was head-over-heals with this guy. He was perfect husband and father material. And I'd picked him out to begin with! Then the most alarming question hit me like a breeze block: what if he doesn't want to marry you now? A fire was beginning to burn. On the third morning post-proposal, I woke up knowing that today was the day I would ask Callum to marry me. The setting had to be perfect. It turned out that it was the anniversary of his mother's death, so we had planned to treat ourselves to a posh lunch at a beach restaurant on the island of Lantau. We got the perfect table, our feet in the sand. we ordered champagne and once our glasses were charged, we toasted his mother and then I asked if we could toast something else. "You asked me a question a few days ago," I said," and I haven't stopped thinking about it since - and, well, if you'd still like to marry me, then I'd love to marry you." We both burst into tears. It felt absolutely right - just like in the films.

 cinto tears. It felt absolutely right – just like in films.

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